Too Cool for Internet Explorer

Monday, August 08, 2005

Installing Love

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through
the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready
to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think
I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart.
Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other
programs running now. Is it okay to install Love
while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-
Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually
erase Past Hurt from your current operating
system. It may remain in your permanent memory
but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love
will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a
module of its own called High Self-Esteem.
However, you have to completely turn off Grudge
and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love
from being properly installed. Can you turn those

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can
you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start
menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many
times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment
have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing
itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have
only the base program. You need to begin
connecting to other Hearts in order to get the

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already.
It says, "Error - Program does not run on external
components ." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love
program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but
has not yet been run on your Heart. In non
technical terms, it simply means you have to Love
yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then
click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize
Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart"
directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting
files and begin patching faulty programming. Also,
you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all
directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make
sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with
new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and
Peace and Contentment are copying themselves
all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes
awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the
proper time. So Love is installed and running. One
more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware.
Be sure to give it and its various modules to
everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with
others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

1 Comment/s:

Blogger van said...

amazing! i enjoyed it.. :)

10/18/2005 12:39 PM  

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